Begin Again

So I watched this movie years ago on TV. The only thing I remembered about this movie was that Keira Knightley’s character here has the same taste music as me. Not that impressive. But 1-2 months ago, something has moved me to find out what the song was, because I totally forgot, I even forgot the movie title I had to searched it on google first. By the time I remembered it was ‘Begin Again’, I started to type in the search box on youtube, and guess what I’ve found.

It was not that I finally found the song (yes it’s As Time Goes By – Frank Sinatra), but hell yeah, where I’ve been all this time?! This scene is definitely the winner! My kind of ideal date is right there. I, of course, talked about this idea later, you know, listening to the music with this headphone splitter while walking along the street. I’ve already had my oxytocin released just by imagining it.

And this treasure I found, lead me to another scene. I just never realized how great this movie was.

Exactly what I’ve been looking for, oftenly. This is what we really mean as Begin Again.

25 and The Best Gift

Been through so many unexpected, hard, things in life for the past several months, has made me become such a zero expectation human. I can’t be more ready to face the worst scenario in every aspect in my life. My job, my love life, my family. I feel like I’m gonna be okay if there’s something which is not really good happen on them, and be more okay if actually things that happens are good. My job is trying to make it good, but I don’t mind if the results aren’t that good. I call it destiny. For the sake of my health, mind and body, I do not expect anything, anymore. Anything. And life just be greater and easier to live, trust me.

And on that day I turned 25. One or two night before the day, Aldy said that it was the lowest point on him, that he couldn’t propose me right on my birthday. The payment from one of his biggest client hasn’t been done. And the spending of the 40 days pray of his grand mother’s left was just too much, he also contributed to it. Very wisely I said that my birthday is a happy day for me, but the day he propose me will be one of the beautiful day in my life, and it doesn’t always need to happen on the same day. I’m good at zero expecting, as I’ve said before.

I arrived at my office that morning and found my table had been decorated. Such a cute beginning, I thought. Half an hour later all of my friends came to me with two cakes and a gift (from Teh Dwi). That actually the first time my birthday were celebrated by quite lot of friends in my office. Usually the celebration only included my cubicle friends. We took some photos and shared the cake. Oh and I just remembered that usually Aldy came too to gave me surprises. The first, and the third years we celebrated my birthday at my office. On the second year I was sick that he gave me surprise in front of my boarding house. This year is the fourth year, and he’s not coming, I thought. But I’d asked him to have dinner with me in Dago Pakar. Well at least we would have a time to spend together on my birthday. Basicly I’m not a big-surprise fan.

After office hour, I went to Cafe Halaman where Aldy had a meeting with his colleagues. It was almost finished, and he went to pay the bill. He came back and some minutes later a waiter came and said there was something he need to ask Aldy. He went away again and came back, saying there was an error in his debit payment. Suddenly the music on the cafe played a birthday song, and my reflected action was, “what was that?”, a waiter came to my table bringing a pancake with an ice cream and chocolate sauce written “Happy Birthday Dinda”. Oh, that was just unpredictable, I must say.

The meeting was finally over and we decided to have dinner in Sierra. Teh Dwi recommended the restaurant because of  its good meal, affordable price, and magnificent view. And yes, I agree to her! I brought the gift from Teh Dwi and opened it there. “Here’s the gift from Teh Dwi,” I said to Aldy. “We’ll buy your gift tomorrow, ok?” he said to me. Did he really mean “we”? It must be a different gift, I thought, because “we” should buy it together. But what would it be? I was wondering. We finished our meal and I went to the spot where I could see that very sentimental view of Bandung. What a very breathtaking view. I went back to my table and back to my confuse. “Where are we going tomorrow?”. “Around Pasir Kaliki or maybe Saritem,”.

Continue reading “25 and The Best Gift”


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Telah sekian lama pintu itu tertutup rapat, meskipun sesekali terbuka diiringi sepasang mata yang mengintip. Rasa kehilangan mendalam pernah datang begitu saja atas sesuatu yang sebenarnya tidak pernah dimiliki. Pertanda akan sebuah keharusan untuk berdiam, dan berusaha sedikit lagi untuk berharap sebagaimana mestinya. Mungkin bukan tentang bagaimana menunggu tersesat ke dalam ruang yang mewujudkan bayangan, tetapi bagaimana berusaha untuk menjadi diri sendiri di mana pun diri ini berada.